Why is it so hard to stick to habits?
If you are like me, you're constantly trying to change habits but ultimately end up breaking them. But why? Why can't we hold on to them?
Drink more water, get up early, less coffee, more exercise, eat healthier, the list goes on… Isn't it overwhelming? I'm sure you have a lot of work- or family related stress, many responsibilities to take on and no time to actually stop, relax and move on. The only way you feel you can get ahead is by taking on a new healthy habit, because “Then I could take back control”. If you’re like me, it doesn't last long.
But why is it so hard to keep habits? Let’s dive deeper into understanding habits and how to start defeating the slump.
The ‘WHY’:
Doubting yourself can become easy when the challenge gets too hard. We start thinking “Why did I start this?” or “Is it really necessary to have this change in my life?”
Most commonly, the habit you're working on is too big a change to stick too. That’s what I like to call the Burnout Trap.
THE BURNOUT TRAP
Making drastic changes all at once can set you up for failure, leading to discouragement and a higher likelihood of abandoning the habit altogether. This approach often results in burnout, frustration, and a sense of overwhelm, making it challenging to sustain momentum. The best way to defeat the Burnout Trap will be discussed later.
Though, this is not the only factor influencing your persistency.
LACK OF WILLPOWER AND MOTIVATION
Though most new habits are made with good intention, it is difficult to adhere to when not planned correctly. Having a busy or exhausting lifestyle can really dampen your mood when wanting to make a change.
I mean, who wants to go for a run when you just had the busiest day ever and would rather just endlessly scroll reels or watch series the rest of the day. Numbing yourself for the remainder of the day until you can finally go to sleep.
Unfortunately, in some cases, habits don't stick because of lack of discipline. You have to have the willpower to keep your habit going, it's never going to be easy and failure is bound to happen sometimes. Accept it and try again.
“COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY”
Did I quote Theodore Roosevelt? Yes and for a good reason.
No one ever sees the struggle and hard work to maintaining a habit or achieving a goal. They only see the results.
Instagram, Facebook and TikTok aren't helping the situation either. Many influencers make it look so easy, like they have the perfect life. This often leads to your own discouragement when not seeing your own results fast enough or when it gets too challenging.
Rather not compare your journey to others, we all have personal challenges we face, making each of our stories different leading to our own unique chapters to sustaining our habits, whatever they may be.
That’s why I compiled a few ways to help you stick to your goal.
How to keep your habits:
What may work for me doesn't necessarily have to work for you. Because we are all so unique, I have found different ways to help you stay on track and who knows, maybe one trick could stick with you.
HABIT TRACKING
Keeping record of new habits are very helpful in keeping you motivated. And having a daily checklist can keep you driven to complete your task before the day ends. After a period of time the checklist will help your habit become automatic and even easier to complete. (1)
Download my free Habit Tracker (available in blue and pink) and test it out. I’d love to hear how it went!
TASK WITH CUES
You're probably thinking, “What do you mean?”. I know it sounds odd and the heading needs a bit more context. But it will make more sense, trust me.
Studies have shown that linking your habit to an event (when you wake up) or a time of day (after dinner) - a cue that you are already performing daily - provides a practical and well balanced start. The purpose of repeating a task (for example drinking water) complete with a consistent event (or ‘cue’) (like waking up) helps keep motivation alive. (2)
Should you try this, I would love to hear how it went and if it helped you.
‘AIM SMALL, MISS SMALL’:
Big changes often lead to failure due to drastic transformations being too much at once. This can be quite discouraging and more often than not, some wouldn't even bother committing to the habit again.
Rather, focus on achievable goals that would be manageable in your busy routine. Even small wins leads to better results in the long run. Here's a few examples:
If you don't keep physically active and live a sedentary lifestyle, it's going to be extremely difficult to start with a 5-day extensive fitness-routine. Your body would burn out and become sore in the first few days, reducing your motivation and ultimately discouraging you from continuing further. Rather, start with one or two days of physical activity, catered to your level of difficulty. Over time, as you progress and get more comfortable with your routine you can increase your difficulty or the frequency of exercise to the appropriate level based on your progress.
Another example could be if you want to lose weight. Instead of cutting out all the unhealthy foods all together, start with one type of junk food first, like soda. Overtime, as you get more comfortable, start cutting out more unhealthy foods. In the long run, you're more likely to stay consistent and lose the weight for good. Not falling back like fad diets tend to result in.
ACCOUNTABUDDIES (Accountability Buddies)
- A friend/s that keeps you accountable. -
A habit is easier to stick to when you have someone to share the struggle with. This can help you feel more motivated and encourages you to stick to a healthy habit when others are also doing so. In return, both are holding each other accountable.
It doesn't necessarily have to be a friend or family member that holds you accountable. Our Accountabuddies-group is made for like-minded people wanting to be kept motivated. Feel free to join our community, we would love to hear your story.
Sticking to habits can be tough, but understanding why we struggle is the first step to success. By recognizing the pitfalls of making drastic changes, having lack of willpower, and comparing to others, we can adopt strategies to overcome these challenges. Whether it's habit tracking, setting achievable goals, or finding an accountability buddy, there are many ways to make habits stick. The key is to find what works for you. Make sure that you are patient with yourself. With time and persistency, you can build habits that bring lasting positive change to your life.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Don't be discouraged if you encounter setbacks – it's all part of the journey. Celebrate your small wins, and don't compare your progress to others. Focus on your own growth, and remember that every step forward is a step in the right direction. By taking control of your habits, you're taking control of your life. So, start small, stay consistent, and watch your habits transform into lasting successes.
Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day.
References:
Gardner, B., Lally, P., & Wardle, J. (2012). Making health habitual: the psychology of 'habit-formation' and general practice. The British journal of general practice : the journal of the Royal College of General Practitioners, 62(605), 664–666. https://doi.org/10.3399/bjgp12X659466
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3505409/Gardner B, de Bruijn GJ, Lally P. A systematic review and meta-analysis of applications of the Self-Report Habit Index to nutrition and physical activity behaviours. Ann Behav Med. 2011;42(2):174–187. doi: 10.1007/s12160-011-9282-0.
https://scholar.google.com/scholar_lookup?journal=Ann%20Behav%20Med&title=A%20systematic%20review%20and%20meta-analysis%20of%20applications%20of%20the%20SelfReport%20Habit%20Index%20to%20nutrition%20and%20physical%20activity%20behaviours&author=B%20Gardner&author=GJ%20de%20Bruijn&author=P%20Lally&volume=42&issue=2&publication_year=2011&pages=174187&pmid=21626256&doi=10.1007/s12160-011-9282-0&#d=gs_qabs&t=1745488458841&u=%23p%3DaGDO2JnAHbkJ